Have you ever found yourself in the pit of despair.
Sounds quite extreme doesn't it.
Have you ever find yourself at a place of absolute desperation.
Have you ever find yourself in a place of life where you just feel like you really boxed in like you
can't see the woods for the trees.
Have you ever been in this place of life where you kind of feel like you've been doing your very very
best going in a certain direction.
Have you ever felt like you've been kind of climb in this mountain in life only to reach the top and
discover there's nothing here.
This wasn't the right mountain that I actually wanted to climb.
Well many people do this all right.
To be honest with you and it's not until people's desire to change becomes greater than the desire to
remain the same that people are gonna come for life coaching.
And sometimes because as human beings have a tendency of being a little bit stubborn sometimes many
people will not reach out for help until they reach this pet.
This whole of absolute despair and desperation where they've done their very very best on their own
efforts.
All right without any form of accountability.
When people come to life coaching nine times out of ten is because they have exhausted all other options.
All right.
So down in the hole I want to share with you a little story and then we can maybe just discuss this.
I know you're most likely going to be able to relate and I want to just build upon the ideas that are
shared in that last clip about the meaning of life.
Well the purpose of life.
I mean it's our life's events isn't it.
We interpret however we well we assign meaning onto all things all of the time.
So whether we are feeling high whether we're feeling look is only because of the way in which we have
decided things are for us.
So there was a guy.
No.
The guy had been in the military for quite a number of years.
Around about 10 years actually and he'd done very very well.
He was a very very good soldier but one day he decided he wanted to explore pastures new.
He wanted to see that grass on either side of the fence.
So he ended up leaving the military and packed his bag and an officer went.
And this is him he entered the world of civilian life.
So as he was walking down the roads he was just looking at things differently than we'd ever seen them
before.
He was no civilian where he'd previously always defined himself as being a soldier as he was walking
along the road.
He wasn't really paying too much attention to where he was going and he ended up falling into a hole.
Now the hole was kind of so wide it was so deep and yes he was quite a fit young man.
But he wasn't quite he wasn't quite fit enough he wasn't superhuman he just wasn't able to claim his
way out of the hole.
So he sat there thinking to himself after you know doing is doing its very very best to get out.
So my goodness what am I going to do.
I shot there and he sat there and a few hours passed and the afternoon came and he was starting to get
a little bit hungry and the rain started to come on.
I thought my goodness I'm really going to have to get in this hole or I'm going to find myself in a
bit of a problem here.
So he ended up just kind of calling out for help just a little bit not too much because he wasn't the
kind of person that likes to in or demonstrate or exposes weaknesses and he saw asking for help and
expression of personal weakness we didn't want to be seen as weak because he was a quite a proud man.
So he was no you know you realize that he couldn't get over this hole by himself.
So he said Help.
Help is there anyone out there.
I've fallen into a hole and I don't know how to get out.
Can anyone help me please.
And that's what happened.
There was a counselor just walking down the road and this counselor and a counselor who was operating
in a therapeutic practice had just finished for the day and just overheard the noise coming from the
hole so the counselor walked up to the home and said oh my goodness young man you've fallen into a hole
and it was something I can do to help you.
And the guy said yes thank you a phone in this hole I don't know how to get out can you help me get
out please.
And the counselor said yes absolutely started the stopwatch sat down and said So tell me young man how
does it feel being in the hole and let us talk about the relationship that you have with your parents
and particularly your dad and the guy was down the hall no.
Yeah.
His attention went away from being down the hall when he focused on the nature of the relationship that
he had with his father and all the other destructive relationships in his life.
And then he just realized that his life just wasn't where he wanted it to be in the end that apparently
devastated after around about 45 minutes looking at his past and pretty much everything that was wrong
with his life.
And he was sitting there in tears absolutely crushed on the counselor's watch started beeping and she
said Oh terribly sorry that's us done for this week.
So listen and if you would like to have another conversation How about I swing by this time next week
and we can have another chart.
And the guy down the hall too.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thanks very much for your help.
And then the counselor walked off and the guy was left in the hole and not any better off than what
he was when he first fell into it.
So it took him around about 45 minutes just to dust himself off shake himself down.
He stood back up and he started calling out for help and he was getting a little bit desperate because
he was stuck in this hole and it was about to get dark.
So the local doctor's surgery had just closed and one of the doctors was walking down the road with
his suitcase and heard the man down the hall calling out for help.
The doctor approached the hole and said Young man young man you've fallen down a hole was there anything
that I can do to help.
And the guy said yes Doctor I've fallen down this hole and I don't know how to get out.
Can you help me please.
And the doctor said Yes I've got just the thing for you.
Pulled out his notebook wrote down a few bits and bobs asked him a few questions.
A few questions you know have you injured yourself.
Have you.
Have you got any bruises or any bruising or anything like that.
And ended up writing a prescription for that over dropped into the hole and the young guy Cotter so
what am I supposed to do with this.
And the doctor said listen if symptoms persist if you're still in your hole and three weeks from now
just come back in and see me again or just just call Ortho or come back and see you and then carried
on about his day.
So the gyno is down the hall getting absolutely irate.
The local church minister then walked down the road and the guy screaming out No Help me Help me I'm
stuck down this hole.
I don't know how to get out and the minister looked over the hole and said Oh young man my child you've
fallen donors hole.
Is there anything that I can do to help you.
And again I said yes yes Father please help me get it.
This hole I've been down here all day and I don't know how to get out.
He was now getting pretty irate and quite desperate.
And the church minister said right let's bow our heads and pray.
Oh Lord God I just pray you you help my brother get out of the hole here and just take care of him blessed
me in Jesus name.
And then that was it.
And the guy down the hall was looking up and saying what.
Mm hmm.
And the minister then kind about his day.
And this was that guy was just a big crush No.
Right.
So he'd done his best asking for help.
All right.
He hadn't received anything practical any practical guidance on how to actually get to the hole nor
had even thrown him a set of step ladders.
And he was just about ready for giving up.
She was nervous.
And then the whole pretty much whimpering where one of his old army mates who left the army a couple
years before him was walking down the road and munching on some fish and chips where he looked down
the hall and he saw his friend down there and he says Hey man how did you get in there.
How long you been down there for.
And he said well I just left the Army recently and I've fallen in this hole or I don't know how to get
out and I'm stuck.
I'm just ready for given up.
I'm feeling depressed and feeling anxious and feel inside.
I think I'm just gonna give up on life and then as Mae jumped in the hole with him jumped right down
and the guy who was in the hole stood up and said What are you doing.
Are you stupid.
I've been down this hole all day and I don't know how to get arms.
And they were both stuck down here.
Then his friends said listen I've been down this hole before and I know how to get out.
Come I'll show you know that story can be taken one of a few different ways you may have found entertaining
but it's also quite metaphoric isn't it.
Because what I like to see is this story being quite representative of the role that we play as life
coaches.
You may have heard me say once or twice in the earlier section that we cannot really coach anyone effectively
through a stage of life that we ourselves have not already surpassed.
If that makes sense.
But what I already said what I've also said is that in order to coach someone effectively in life you
do not have to be miles ahead of them.
All you ever need to be is one or two steps.
And how do you respond to the story.
How do you respond to this.
This idea of the guy down the hall.
Well all I'm really going to ask you to do for the next five to 10 minutes is just reflect upon what
the hole looks like for you.
Was there a season or a stage of your life that you'd really struggled with a year felt you were just
absolutely crushed you might have been stressed to the max.
It might have been a traumatic divorce or the death of a loved one to death of a child.
Perhaps you ended up completely financially broke destitute you overcame that one you've bounced back
and you have lived to tell the tale.
Well this is what qualifies you and gives you your authority to coach other people through exactly the
same process.
My friends through the rest of this course and through the rest of the section especially yeah we're
going to know really unpack what it means to be human.
We're going to look at how we internalize life and how it is that we process our external events and
how our thoughts influence our feelings how our feelings and emotions impact the decisions and the actions
that we take on a day to day basis and ultimately how it is our actions our choices that determine the
outcomes that we experience on a day to day basis even if these outcomes are ending up in a hole.
Remember the idea that a shared the other idea shared in the last section and this is that responsibility
breeds empowerment.
When we learn how to take greater degrees of responsibility for our selves we become automatically empowered
to overcome any challenge that life throws our way.
And this is what you want to be aspiring to as a life coach saw know that you're hopefully feeling quite
inspired.
I look forward to seeing you again in the next club.